England U20 World Cup Team Accosted at Bogota Airport

It looked as if there may have been trouble at Bogota airport yesterday when security was massively increased for the arrival of the England under 20 World Cup Squad.

In fact the squad were given a very Columbian welcome by a host of female police officers who had gathered at the airport with the specific intention of making the team’s arrival as fun as possible.

As the girls ran towards the players it did look for a moment as if the entire team were just about to be arrested and detained but it was simply the keenness of the young ladies to engage the English lads in a swift salsa before they made their way to their hotel.

They certainly weren't expecting to be accosted by the Columbian police in this manner!

The boys took to the floor but to be honest, we think they need to brush up a little on their Latin dance skills. Let's just hope that the English Under 21s show even better movement on the pitch!

Fans Show Off New Liverpool Away Kit for 2011/12

Image Credit Flickr User dullhunk

Proud Liverpool fans show off the new Liverpool FC away kit for the 2011-12 season.  You can see the pride on their faces as they boldly hit the yellow with the color equivalent of a Liverpool Kiss.

From left to right: Our Barry, Our Terry, Our Gary, Barry, Terry, Gary, Ba', Te', Ga', Barry, Terry, Gary.

Cough. Well, OK.  Perhaps not - but we are reliably informed the 11/12 away strip will be, in fact, well, yellow.

The Dogs of Soccer

Gimme. Big. Shiny. Bouncy. Thing. NOW.
Image Credit Flickr User Intangible Arts

While we stand for good reportage here at World in Sport there are times when you need to call time out and just have a little fun. So, we thought we might concentrate today on a slightly different side of soccer. True, we humans may have the teams, the leagues, the trophies and, er, Fifa, but there is another species on the planet which might just well trump us when it comes to the sheer love of the sport. Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the dogs of soccer together with a few quotes from the heroes (and some villains) of the beautiful game.

Image Credit Flickr User 3Dobes

“You’ve got to believe you’re going to win, and I believe we’ll win the World Cup until the final whistle blows and we’re knocked out” (Peter Shilton)

Image Credit Flickr UserMike Baird

"Winning doesn’t really matter as long as you win" (Vinnie Jones)

Image Credit Flickr User SamSherwood

"I would not be bothered if we lost every game as long as we won the league" (Mark Viduka)

Image Credit Flickr User Vickyvs

"My parents have been there for me, ever since I was about 7" (David Beckham)

Image Credit Flickr User Soggydan

 "We didn't underestimate them. They were a lot better than we thought." (Bobby Robson)

Image Credit Flickr User plasticrevolver

"Well, either side could win it, or it could be a draw." Ron Atkinson

Image Credit Flickr User Adrian Purser

"We lost because we didn't win." Ronaldo

Image Credit Flickr User Kool Scatkat

"It's an incredible rise to stardom. At 17 you're more likely to get a call from Michael Jackson than Sven Goran Eriksson." Gordon Strachan referring to Wayne Rooney

Image Credit Flickr User Jessibot

"I spent a lot of money on booze, birds and fast cars. The rest I just squandered." George Best

Image Credit Flickr User plasticrevolver

"We must have had 99% of the game. It was the other 3% that cost us the match." Ruud Gullit

Image Credit Flickr User MARK

"He dribbles a lot and the opposition don't like it -you can see it all over their faces." Ron Atkinson

Image Credit Flickr User Dan Finnen

"We actually got the winner three minutes from the end but then they equalized.” Ian McNail

Image Credit Flickr User dwired

"Diego Maradona - a flawed genius who has now become a genius who is flawed" Bob Wilson

Image Credit Flickr User Wei

"Newcastle, of course, unbeaten in their last five wins." - Brian Moore

Image Credit Flickr User Klara F

"If history repeats itself, I should think we can expect the same thing." Terry Venables

Image Credit Flickr User kidarus222

"If England are going to win this match, they're going to have to score a goal." Jimmy Hill 

Image Credit Flickr User plasticrevolver

"There will be a game where somebody scores more than Brazil and that might be the game they lose."  Bobby Robson.

Image Credit Flickr User Adam Foster

"If you don't believe you can win, there is no point in getting out of bed at the end of the day".  Neville Southall 

Image Credit Flickr User Juan Pablo

"He'd no alternative but to make a needless tackle." - Paul Elliot

Image Credit Flickr User Hopefoote

"If there wasn't such a thing as football we'd all be frustrated footballers." Mick Lyons

Ashes Jokes 2011 - The Top Twenty

Say, did you know that the Australian's had lost the Ashes?  Well, just to thank them, we thought we would give you the top twenty Ashes jokes currently doing the rounds on a mobile phone near you!

What do you call an Australian with a champagne bottle in his hand?
A waiter.

Snow White returned to the cottage to find it had burned down. Distraught, she searches for the dwarfs in the forest and hears a lone voice chanting: "The aussies are going to win the ashes, the aussies are going to win the ashes" On hearing this, Snow White gave a little sigh of relief as she knew that at least Dopey was safe! 

What's the difference between Ricky Ponting and a Phoenix?
At the end of The Ashes, the Phoenix still has a future.

Why can no-one drink wine in Australia at the moment? 
They haven't got any openers ...

What do you call an Australian who is good with a bat?

A vet.

Mitchell Johnson  - two minutes after going out to bat..

What do you call an Australian with 100 runs against his name?

A bowler. 

I had to borrow a cup of sugar the other day. I asked Shane Watson - but he had run out.

What’s the difference between Ricky Ponting and a funeral director?
A funeral director doesn’t keep losing the ashes.

What is the main function of the Australia coach?
To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.

The ICC are investigating strange betting patterns on the Sydney test. Someone allegedly put $20 on Australia 

What's the Australian version of LBW?
Lost, Beaten, Walloped.

What’s the height of optimism?
An Aussie batsman putting on sunscreen.

Why don't Aussie fielders need pre-tour travel injections?
Because they never catch anything.

Why is Ricky Ponting cleverer than Houdini?
Because he can get out without even trying.

What did the spectator miss when he went to the toilet?
The entire Australian innings.
 

A phone call comes into the Australian dressing room
‘Is it possible to speak to Mr Ponting please?
‘I’m sorry’ says a voice at the other end, ‘he has, gone out to bat’
‘No problem, I’ll hold the line’

What do you call a cricket field full of Australians ?
A vacant lot.

Who spends the most time on the crease of anyone in the Australian team?
The woman who ironed the cricket whites.

What does an Australian batsman who is playing in The Ashes have in common with Michael Jackson?
They both wore gloves for no apparent reason.

The Best David Beckham Joke Ever

David Beckham and his wife have just flown back in to the UK from America.  Tired and more than a little jet-lagged, the pair collapse in to the chauffeur driven limousine that has been arranged to take them home.

The driver exchanges polite greetings with the couple and asks where they had been.

“New York,” replies David.  “There for a weekend of shopping with the wife.”

“My wife loves New York,” replies the cab driver, who, like most other London cabbies, loves a good chat at his customers.  “Which hotel did you stay at?”

Beckham rolls his eyes.  “Crikey,” he says.  “I forget.”

“Was it the Marriot Marquis?” asks the driver.  “The missus is always on about staying there.”

“Nah.  Don’t think so,” Beckham replies.  “Let me think.  Give me the name of a few London tube stations.”

OK, thinks the cabbie, let’s humor him.  “Alright, Sir.  What about Leicester Square?” he suggests.

Beckham shakes his head.

“Well, then.  Let’s think.  What about Oxford Street?”

Beckham shakes his head.

“Right.  So, what about Piccadilly Circus?”

Beckham shakes his head.

By now, the cabbie is getting a little exasperated and wondering why he started the conversation in the first place. He decides to give it one last go before giving up and taking the couple home without any further attempt at dialogue.

“What about Victoria then?”

Beckham’s eyes light up.  “Thanks, mate!”

He turns and nudges his wife.  “Ere, Victoria, what hotel did we stay at in New York?”